How to Arse Up a Sweater Back in 7 Steps.

I finished the sleeves of my sweater last night. The pattern I'm using, Mariah, calls for some really beautiful & complex cabling on the sleeves. I decided that I wanted to finish before winter, so I took out the obscenely time-consuming (albiet gorgeous) celtic knot cable which of course, is what the designer made the sweater around, so I'm sure she'd rather I not tell anybody that this is her pattern.

I kept the rather demure cable ribbing pattern on the cuffs & body of the sweater. Last night after finishing the sleeves I cast on for the back. That's when I began to make mistakes...

1. CO 126 stitches. Cleverly recheck the pattern, remove 2 stitches because the CO is supposed to be 124. Cut part of the ridiculously long tail leftover from my inability to correctly estimate a long-tail cast on. Happily check the chart, working across as I go.

2. Realize when I get to the end of the row & have 11 stitches leftover instead of 7 that I misread the pattern & arsed up the first 7 stitches. Cuss, rip them back. Start another episode of the tv show I was watching on netflix.

3. CO 124 stitches again. Breathe relief that I'd had the forsight not to remove the first stitch when ripping out, so my tail is perfect. Knit across, fixing the first 7 stitches & last 7, making an adjustment for a button band instead of zipper. Feel rather clever that the garter band I'm knitting looks quite nice.

4. Work happily away for 5 rows of the pattern. Make J take it from me at around 1 a.m. so I can get a reasonable amount of sleep, and because my left shoulder has been bugging me (maybe from cranking out stockinette sleeves for 3 weeks).

5. Go to bed. Fall asleep with a book in my hand, thinking absently about the sweater.

6. 3 a.m. wake up with a start, realizing that I'm knitting the BACK of the sweater, and BACKS DON'T NEEED BUTTON BANDS. Feel like a moron. Go back to sleep.

7. Wake up at 8, trying to decide if I have the heart to rip back the thing yet again. Contemplate a redo plan involving a crochet hook & my wits. Best case scenario--it'll work & take less time than a reknit, which would take about an hour. Worst case: I'll work all morning on it, arse it up further, have to rip it out anyway and reknit.

Excuse me. I have to fortify with coffee now, and dig out my crochet hook. I can see where this Saturday morning is going already...