Sorry You Hate My Opinons, But...

Gotta get this one off my chest.

Just once I wouldn't mind being the one nobody wanted to offend. I am so sick of the haters--don't take a picture of me, don't quote me, don't tell anyone I said that totally innocuous thing. People I choose to be around in my life are the people I want there and actually give a damn about and I'm, GASP, proud of. If you're so offended by that, well, I'm sorry, but that is your damage, not mine. I'm sick of biting my tongue and editing my thoughts and my very personality to the point that I'm becoming the troll under the bridge just so NOBODY will be offended.

If I take a picture of you, guess what? It's because I like you. I like having you in my home and in my life, and I like showing you off to other people because I think you are a beautiful person and I'm proud of you.

If I talk about you in a status update on facebook, guess what? It's because I like you. I'm amused by something you said or did and I think you are clever.

If I don't want to enter into an argument with you about something I feel passionate about, be it politics or opinion or whatever, guess what? It's not because I'm not strong enough in my stance. It's because I don't see the point. I'm not going to convince you, you're not going to convince me, and not engaging in a battle of wits isn't because I don't have an argument to bring to the table, it's because I'm not about to waste my time convincing you of something that we've clearly both assessed the angles of and come to different conclusions.

I live my life out loud in many ways--but for every out loud thing, I guarantee you there are 500 things no one will ever know about me. The things I say and post on a public forum are the things I actually feel are not going to spark controversy or negativity, and I get deeply hurt when someone wants me to police them simply because they're not comfortable enough to own who they are to me. If you don't want to be in my life, fine, but if you do, be flattered enough that I care so much about you that I want to say that part of my life out loud.

Taste is subjective. Thoughts are subjective. Every course of action you choose is one that you think is the right one, based on the evidence in front of you. If I screw up, I'm sorry, and I'll be the first one to admit it. But I'm not going to get a waiver signed for every picture I take, every word I say, and every time I talk about another person, particularly if it's in what I think is a flattering way. I don't go around bashing people on purpose and I don't post something I think is unflattering, be it a picture or a quote, because I am so afraid of hurting people's feelings--but even with that, I still manage to somehow offend every person I love.

My instinct is to give up, to be the troll, and to tell everyone to go eff themselves. But you know what? The people who freak over stuff like that are the ones with the problem, not me. And I am constantly reminding myself to worry about the plank in my own eye, and not the speck in theirs. (Yes I just got Biblical on you.) I know my own insecurities and they are many, and it takes all my energy to handle those. I can't go around handling yours too. If you've got a problem, deal with it, but don't try to make it my problem by telling me it's my fault unless it really, truly is.

End rant.

The Lucy Hatch Novels by Marsha Moyer

The Second Coming of Lucy Hatch by Marsha Moyer

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I love this book. Ok, it's a bit racy and steamy for my taste, generally. But Lucy is such a real, accessible character to me. The writer truly transports me to Mooney, TX and makes me want to know more. A fantastic beginning.



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The Last of the Honky-Tonk Angels by Marsha Moyer

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


My favorite of the series--#2 of the Lucy Hatch books. Lucy is still tentatively moving forward in life, but her space is shared now by Denny, her 15 year old stepdaughter. I like continuing Lucy's story & narritive, but I especially enjoy Denny's young, fresh perspective.



Pluses: Denny's narrative, curiousity, new perspective on her father & soon-to-be stepmom, getting to know a bit more of Ash's heritage and going more in-depth with already loved characters.



Minuses: Slap-dash plot, trying to hold together too many lines at once and failing on some of the deeper levels (less race relations, more music & personal histories would have been my preference).



My favorite.



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Heartbreak Town: A Novel by Marsha Moyer

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Honestly, not the greatest. Yes, it's another page in the story. Yes, it's interesting to see what has happened to them all this time later. But the timeline gets sketchy at times; they make it seem as though years have passed, but then maybe just weeks; and it's not clear how the time is passing even within the story. It took a long time to "get going" past the day-to-day as well, and while that's interesting, it was hard to maintain that interest. Not that great but definitely a good step; I wouldn't want to read the series without it, but at the same time I probably would have handled the info differently.



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Return of the Stardust Cowgirl: A Lucy Hatch Novel by Marsha Moyer

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


A lovely conclusion. Room for more to be told, but really, I'm ok with leaving the Hatches/Farrells here. They are in a good place.



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Vacation

Tessa and I went up north this last week, to go camping with my Aunt Gina. I got to show the sock I was working on Northern Michigan. It was enthused.

We camped for 3 nights at Aloha State Park in Aloha Twp, MI. I built pretty good fires--evidently certain skills just remain dormant, til they're needed.

Tessa got to swim, a LOT. Girl is a fish.

We also took Tessa to Mackinaw City, and she got to cross the bridge for the very first time.




My aunt & uncle have a cabin nearby, and welcomed us into their summer home. It was so nice. They also know the foremost expert on the yellow swallowtail butterfly, so Tessa got to meet a real, live entomologist, which made her crazy happy.




We watched a lot of sunsets, and it was so beautiful. Even Paddle enjoyed himself, I think.


We celebrated my Aunt Marcia & Uncle Denny's 43rd anniversary with an unbelievably delicious dinner.



I'm so thankful Aunt Gina gave us this wonderful opportunity and fantastic memory. She really is the best of the best.



And Tessa was pretty ready to go when it was time to leave--we really tired her out.




P.S.--I didn't get photos, but I did get some nice vacation yarn, thanks to both my aunts. :-) I also finished a really gorgeous shawl.

Possibly Crazy?

So....It's been a long, long time since I've had a vacation. Oh, sure, I've had "time off work...." but for me that generally means medical appointments to go to with my mom, an apartment to clean, classes to take, job training at a second job to do--hell, one of my "vacations" once included me in the hospital for 4 days recovering from an infection.

But not THIS TIME. This time, "vacation" actually means a break. Some of the plans include: heading over to dear friends for a joint-family BBQ, Jeremy going to work on his graphic novel with his friend Thom, Tessa participating in a "family dance party" at Art 634....and, most astoundingly, me and Tessa GOING UP NORTH with my aunt to go camping!! (Jeremy was invited. He doesn't see the point of camping. He has no desire to sleep on the ground for 4 days. He doesn't swim. He doesn't do mosquitos, bugs or heat. His loss. At least the apartment won't be untended.)

I also have planned a LOT of this:

A bit of this:

And some challenging knitting in the form of this:

Gonna be a great week. :-)

Walking on Eggshells

Wow. The last 48 hours have been some of the weirdest I've lived through in awhile.

I don't want to go into too much of it. Personally, there's been some things, some of it good stress, some not so good, but all of it takes its toll, the good and the bad. Professionally there were some things as well, and again, those I will keep in private contemplation, but it also has my mind swirling.

One thing I can share about in general terms though--community.

I'm a member of a really great community online that has truly been a good substitute for a religious institution in my life. It fills that need for gathering and support, and does it in such a way that I don't feel as though I have a "void"--I grow, both in faith and in my inner being, and I both give and receive support from the members of that community.

Recently there has been some upheaval, and despite my attempts to not involve myself, I found that I am deeply affected, no matter that I'm not a participant.

I feel like I'm caught in the middle of a splitting church--you know, the sort that splits over deep theological issues, like carpet color and whether or not the benches should have padding--and now I don't know which study group to go to. Do I stay with the originals? Do I go over to the new splinter? Do I just keep a foot in each camp because frankly, I'm friends with all the parties and have no beef with any of them?

It's one of those situations where I can see where both parties handled things (in my opinion) very, very badly in some ways, and yet both parties did what they felt was right. On the one hand, I absolutely hate how the situation was handled on both sides, and in equal measure. There isn't any one side of this that did worse than the other, as far as I am concerned--I don't know the order of events, but again, it appears to be something that just kept building and building. At the same time, both sides did what they absolutely believed in the deepest part of their beings was the right thing, and I am completely supportive of both in that--the parties involved are principled, thoughtful people and stood firmly by their own convictions, and that is always to be admired.

In the end I find myself backing away from all of it, taking away the lesson that even the most religion-free communities can have deep dramas, and perhaps nowhere is safe. My heart is broken to see dear friends hurting in this way, and nothing I can do to mediate or soothe. All I can do is sit back, do some meditative knitting (and praying), and hope that hearts can be healed and life can go forward for everyone.

I hate this.

Book Review: Matched by Ally Condie

Matched by Ally Condie

"I'm not so sure whether I like this or not. On the one hand, I "devoured" it quickly--read it in a day and a little, election day. And it was good. I guess.

It takes awhile to get going. I'm not sure how but I think the author could have described the "world" in a better, more approachable way. It's almost as though she took sketchy notes from a journal and only fleshed out the bits she felt like it.

Also, I never really "got" the whole "sorting" thing. I mean, ok, I kind of understand it, but what "job" would it be used for in adult life? What's the correlation to the "past" in this world? Meh.

But, over all, it's an ok story. I'll probably read the rest to find out what happens, just because I like the character of Ky. Still, the whole thing kind of felt like the author just jumped on the "Hunger Games" bandwagon."

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The little things

This morning I unlocked the front doors of the library and I saw a piece of paper on the ground. I picked it up to throw it away, and noticed it had a little “heft” to it, so I looked closer. On the outside, there was written a note. The note said “My Name is _____. I owe you 20c for 2 pieces of paper” (we charge 10c/copy).

Every day I see adults trying to welch on their obligations somehow. I get especially frustrated when one will put off paying a 50c fine, but then drop $5 on movie rentals. Here this kid (definitely a kid’s handwriting) came down before we opened, and when he saw it would be awhile, he took the time to leave the money anyway, trusting that we would be the ones to take it in. It's such a little thing, and we would have never known that he had even made the copies--there was no note on his record stating he owed us for anything. But he still went out of his way to make sure he paid what he owed.

What a refreshing start to the day.